shattering
by OctaviaWithStarsForEyes
Summary: Shatter(sha-ter) verb: 1. to be broken into fragments or become weak or insubstantial. 2. also known as death strikes like lightning, and leaves Marinette smoking and crying and breaking


**A/N: Brace yourself**

 _Model, Adrien Agreste, Son of Fashion Designer Gabriel Agreste, Dies in an Automobile Accident at the Age of 16_

Marinette blinked at the headline, not comprehending the words. They same around her mind, but she couldn't wrap her mind around them. Then the heavy weight of grief dragged her heart slowly down to the pit of her stomach. It felt like there was a crushing pressure on her heart, her lungs, her throat, and it felt like her heart had just shattering into splinters, leaving the shards stuck on the inside of her body.

Her hands started to shake, and then her arms, and then her shoulders, as she began to cry. A shuddering sigh escaped her mouth, and tears slipped out of sapphire eyes, and onto creamy cheeks creased in sorrow. She let a sob tumble from her lips, and suddenly she was weeping, feeling like the emptiness in her chest was causing her to implode. She folded in on herself, wrapping her trembling arms around herself as she allowed wracking sobs to jolt her small frame. The tears wouldn't stop coming, as she closed her eyes and savoured every sweet memory of Adrien she had.

 _A black umbrella, acting as a proverbial olive branch._

 _Days of dreamy fantasies._

 _Sweet smiles, and crinkled green eyes._

 _Shoulder pats and autographed CDs._

 _Hair that shone in the light as she gazed at him._

 _An interrupted almost-kiss._

 _Kind offers, and friendly greetings._

 _A stupid derby hat he liked._

 _Compliments, and adorable sneezes._

A low cry, guttural and painful, ripped from Marinette, sounding like it was scooped from the essence of her being.

 _Model, Adrien Agreste, Son of Fashion Designer Gabriel Agreste._

Was that all he was going to be remembered for? Who his father was, and his job? Not for being kind, and generous, and sweet, and thoughtful? God, she should've said something to him. Should have told him how she felt, before death could claim him. Should have been there to push him out of the way of the car. A scream bubbled up in her throat, but she forced it down, and buried her face in the pillow.

"Marinette?" A soft voice asked.

"Tikki." Her voice was flat and thin, and scraping rawly from her throat.

"I'm so sorry about what happened. I know how much he meant to you. But you still have responsibilities. It's time for patrol." Tikki whispered apologetically.

There was a cold silence. Tikki braced herself for rejection, and wondered if Chat Noir could handle it alone.

"You're right. I can't just stop doing my job." Her voice seemed to lift, just barely. "Besides, if there's anyone who can cheer me up, it's Chat Noir."

Her kwami beamed, and prepared herself for the transformation.

"Spots on."

...

Ladybug waited at the Eiffel Tower for forty minutes. It wasn't like Chat to be late. A coil of dread wormed its way into her gut, but she waited longer. Perhaps he had overslept, or he had to do something in his civilian life. Maybe was mourning the loss of Adrien. A sour taste entered her mouth at the thought. Even thinking his name hurt.

"Chaton!" She called out over the city draped in twilight. Tears filled her eyes. Where was he, when she needed him most? "Kitty!"

No. It wasn't possible.

"Chat Noir!" She screamed, throwing her yoyo, and zipping from building to building. Her breath was coming in short gasps, and her chest felt like it was about to collapse.

"Kitten! Where are you?" She shouted, tears choking up her voice. "I need you!"

Ladybug stopped on a building and her knees buckled. "Chat Noir!"

Tears dripped out of her eyes, over her mask. The scream she had repressed earlier built up again, and this time she let it loose.

Dozens of people would report an anguished scream in the night, ringing with pain. Sobs poured out, but instead of being quiet and subdued, they were loud, echoing cries that shook her whole body and rattled her soul.

The most important boys in her life were gone.

She could just picture his voice in her head, purring with affection. _"Hey, bugaboo. Glad to see mew?"_ She'd roll her eyes, and shove him, giggling. _"Me-owch, milady, that hurts!"_ He'd clutch his chest in mock hurt and then grin. _"Suck it up, buttercup."_ She'd grin back, and they'd go running across the city, whooping with glee, and shouting puns. At the end of the night, they'd regroup at the Eiffel Tower, and watch the lights of the city flicker on and off, like flighty fireflies. _"Marry me, My Lady?"_ He'd ask cheekily, and she'd say, _"Nope!"_ He'd chuckle and kiss her knuckles, _"I'll win you over some day, buginette."_ She'd smirk playfully, " _We'll see, Chaton. Goodnight."_

"Spots off." She murmured, voice trembling. Tikki flew out of the earrings silently, and watched her mistress break down on the ground. After a while, her sobs receded to sorrowful hiccups.

"It's him, isn't it?" Marinette whispered, like someone had crushed her heart. "Adrien was Chat Noir."

A slow nod from Tikki.

"It all makes sense now." Marinette chuckled mirthlessly. "So many coincidences overlooked."

Her laugh melted into tears.

"And I never knew."

 **I'm sorry. That was cruel of me. You okay? Leave a review telling me if this made you cry.**


End file.
